Twas the night before Tent Party, when all through the lawn Not a creature was stirring, not even to play beer pong. The tents were all packed in the car with care, In hopes that the beer would soon be there.
The party goers were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of bags danced in their heads. And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a restless summer’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the crest of the newly pitched tent Gave the lustre of mid-day and a malty grain scent. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a man in an Old Milwaukee hat and a keg of beer.
With a little ping pong ball, and a Noble Pills , I knew in a moment it must be Matt Mills. More rapid than golf carts his fellow party goers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Durr! now, Starke! now, Braniff and Hultgren! On, Catalano! On, Fischer! on, Engle and Berry! From the top of the porch! to the edge of the fence! Now drink! Drink! Let the drinking commence!"
As dry leaves get tossed into the pit, the party's fire was aglow for it had been lit. So up to the tap the party goers flew, With the sight of full beers, and burgers too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard at the door a clap, a knock, how could there be more? As I drew in my head, and was turning around, In comes bursting Matt Mills with a bound.
He was dressed in a swim suit, thank goodness for that, And he was followed by Gina Lemaire saying "oh goodness, Matt." Two cases of beer he had flung on his back, And he looked like a drunkard, just opening a six pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his grin how merry! His shorts were tight, and his chest was not hairy! His red hat was crafted of knit and beer can, And his sunglasses were certainly made by Ray Ban.
The red solo cup he held tight in his teeth, As the beer it contained made the cup cold from beneath. He had a long face and curly hair, That shook when he laughed, like a neighing mare!
He was thin and lanky, a right jolly young man, And I laughed when I saw him, thinking of an ice cream van! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to drinking, And filled all the cups,prepared for some "Biz" sinking. And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, he stood for a pose!
He sprang to his tent, to his team gave a hollar, And in they all flew like the heads through a collar. But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he zippered his tent tight, "Happy Tent Party to all, and to all a good-night!"
By Dave Starke